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I know this is some kind of a late notice, but I just wanted to say that I am okay. I found out that going back to some good things back then doesn't pain at all, because I know that they have happened and they were real and still are. I don't know why some people neglect going back to some point of their cognition in the past, regardless if they happened or not. Day by day, we open the book of our past in the middle of the things that may or may not be important to us. We just don't notice it. Maybe right now you are thinking of the time when you were riding a bike with your bother or sister when you were young and now they are someplace and you miss them already, but it's okay. Time is what's important. It can still happen when it should, by the time that may or may not really matter at all. Things will get better, I know I'm doing something which makes it better. I know that love is within reach (it's no good when it's too far, when it's nowhere to be found, it breaks systems, it breaks hearts). But yeah, like a muscle it grows when it encounters a heavy stimulus, it breaks down and gets replenished like life.